Real Talk: Marriage Isn't Always a Rom-Com & That's Okay, fr

Okay, so you guys know I love my Tanner more than anything. He's my whole world, my best friend, my hype man, the dad to my three perfect girls. I honestly couldn't imagine doing life without him, he just gets me, you know? But let's be real, sometimes marriage is just… sometimes it be like that, hahah. It's not always sunshine and roses, and honestly, that's what makes it so beautiful and so real. I saw this post from @uchechi and it just hit me, like, yes. That's exactly it. That messy, imperfect, sometimes-we-just-look-at-each-other-like-what-is-happening kind of love. And I wanted to talk about it bc I feel like we don't always see that side of things, and it's so important to know you're not alone if your marriage isn't a constant rom-com.

The Instagram vs. Reality of Marriage

I feel like on social media, it's so easy to scroll and see all these perfect couples, always on dates, always smiling, always looking like they just stepped out of a magazine. And don't get me wrong, Tanner and I have those moments too! We love our date nights, we love our family adventures, and I love sharing those happy, beautiful parts of our life with you guys. But that's just a tiny snapshot, right? What you don't always see are the late-night talks about bills, the disagreements over who's turn it is to change the diaper, the moments where one of us is just totally overwhelmed and the other one is trying their best to just be there. That's the real stuff, the stuff that builds a life together. And honestly, it's the stuff I love the most, bc it's us. It's real. And it makes those perfect moments even sweeter.

When It "Be Like That": Embracing the Messy Parts

So what do I mean by "sometimes it be like that"? It's those moments where you're both tired, maybe a little grumpy, the kids are wild, dinner got burned, and you just look at each other and kinda sigh, but then you also kinda laugh. Or maybe you don't laugh right away, maybe you need a minute. It's the moments where you have to have a hard conversation, or one of you is feeling misunderstood, or you're just not on the same page about something. And it's okay! It's normal. I used to think, especially when we were first married, that if we weren't always perfectly in sync, something was wrong. But I've learned that's just not how it works. We're two different people, with different thoughts and feelings, and we're navigating life together. There's gonna be bumps. There's gonna be times when you're not seeing eye-to-eye. And that's okay. It's part of the journey, and honestly, it makes you stronger if you can get through it together.

Learning to Communicate (Even When You Don't Wanna)

Okay, so this is a big one. Tanner and I have definitely had to work on this, and we're still learning every single day. When things are tough, my first instinct is sometimes to just shut down, or maybe get a little passive-aggressive hahah. I h8 that about myself, tbh. But Tanner is so good at pulling me out of it, or at least giving me the space I need and then coming back to it later. We've learned that even when it's uncomfortable, talking things out is always the best way. Even if it's just saying, "Hey, I'm feeling overwhelmed right now and I need a minute," or "I'm upset about X, Y, Z." It's not always easy, especially when you're tired or emotional, but it's so worth it. Bc when you communicate, you understand each other better, and that's how you grow together. And sometimes, it's just communicating with a look, like, "Are you seeing this chaos?" and both of you just know.

Finding the Humor in the Chaos

This is probably my favorite part of marriage, especially with three little girls running around. If you can't laugh at the absolute madness sometimes, you'd probably cry, hahah. Like, the other day, Stella decided to give herself a "haircut" with safety scissors, and Tanner and I just looked at each other, trying so hard not to laugh while also being like, "OMG, what did you do?!" We ended up having to give her a little bob, and now she looks adorable, but in the moment, it was just pure chaos. But finding that humor, being able to look at your partner and share that moment of "can you believe this is our life?" is everything. It bonds you. It makes the hard stuff feel a little lighter. And it reminds you that you're in this together, through all the ridiculousness.

Remembering Why You Said "I Do"

When things get tough, or when you're just in one of those "it be like that" phases, it's so important to remember why you fell in love in the first place. For me, it's Tanner's kindness, his unwavering support, how he makes me laugh even when I'm trying to be mad, how he's the most incredible dad to our girls. It's all those little things that made me say yes to forever with him. Sometimes you just need to take a minute, look at your person, and remember all the good. Remember the journey you've been on, the memories you've made, and the future you're building. It helps put everything into perspective. And it reminds you that even on the messy days, this person is your person, and you wouldn't trade it for anything. I love him sm, I really do :,)

Giving Each Other Grace & Space

We're all human, right? We all have bad days, we all make mistakes, we all get overwhelmed. And in a marriage, it's so important to give each other grace. To understand that maybe your partner isn't trying to annoy you, they're just tired. Or maybe they need a little space to process something. Tanner is so good at giving me space when I need it, and I try my best to do the same for him. It's not about being perfect, it's about being understanding and forgiving. It's about knowing that you're a team, and sometimes team members need a little extra support, or a little time on the bench to recharge. And when you come back together, you're stronger for it. It's all about that unconditional love, even when it's not easy.

It's All Worth It, Every Single Bit

So yeah, sometimes marriage be like that. It's messy, it's chaotic, it's not always a fairytale. But for me, it's the most beautiful, fulfilling, and incredible adventure I could ever ask for. Getting to do life with Tanner, raising our girls, building our little empire together – it's everything. The ups and the downs, the laughter and the tears, the perfect moments and the "what just happened?" moments… it's all part of our story. And I wouldn't change a single thing. So if your marriage isn't always perfect, if you have those "it be like that" moments, know that you're not alone. It's real, it's normal, and it's what makes your love story uniquely yours. And that's pretty freakin amazing, tbh. I hope this made you feel seen, bc you're doing great, mama! Sending all my love! ❤